This day is by far one of the worst days of my life. I have never been this depressed all my life. :( I just want to run away and disappear even for just a week. I don't want to see anyone I just want to have a time alone with myself and reflect about things that has been happening for the past few weeks. Today I received my 2nd Quarter grades as a graduating student in High School and I've never expected it's gonna come out like this. Everything was just a blur. I was so devastated by the results that I can't stop myself from crying. I wonder why I am like this. Why am I not smart enough. They say grades is just a number and it doesn't define who you are but they don't know what I've been going through all this years just to give my parents the grades they deserve to see on my card for letting me study in a very prestigious school and supporting me for what I like to do but every year my best just wasn't good enough. I know I have better grades than others but I just feel sad for myself and for all the people who believed in me. I am so ashamed of what had happened. I just can't stop my tears from falling and every time I think about it I just want to throw myself in the middle of the ocean or jump in the highest building and just die and never exist anymore. I just want to free myself from all the cruel things life can give. I just want to be happy and reach my goals and right now it's in my hands and I just blew it away. I don't understand how stupid I am because this is what I've been wishing for, to play the game I love the most and represent the school who molded me to be who I am today. I am so sad that for the first time in my life it was so hard to fake a smile. All my grades went down and that just depressed me. I hate all the teachers. I hate all of them. I don't even know why they exist and give us students a miserable life when in fact what we are supposed to do while we're still young is to enjoy ourselves. They don't give us that privilege anymore. I wonder how weird they are when they we're still my age. I don't think they got a lot of friends because they're all so mean. LIARS to be specific. They say we make our grade but not really, why is it when a girl teacher likes a student by his looks he gets a good grade even though he doesn't deserve it? Why isn't it fair? Why does life have to be so unfair? I just don't get it. I wanna know why. We are just fooling ourselves spending so much money to gain money. I hate the world and everyone who lives in it. But what I really hate the most are those people who pretends a lot. One concrete example are the teachers especially when it comes to student-athletes. Why do they have to be so mean to those students who's giving extra effort because they need to play this season. I just don't get it. What did student-athletes did to them that made them hate us so much? They should be more considerate with us because we aren't just like the normal students who just play games after school. We train really hard every after school that it gets so tiring to review again your lessons but we do it because we want to play. We play to get a scholarship to a very good school in the country, atleast that's what most athletes pray and play for. And we study hard so that we can play. I don't know what they're thinking I just want to slap all of them with a chair on their faces and tell them that we deserve better than this. They're not worthy to have my respect. They're all fucking liars and I really hate liars. I just wish for them to die slowly and painfully.
FUCKING LIARS and they pretend they're glad we are varsities.
